i hate jc life because everyone is sooo busy... even if we're in the same jc, we still meet on OCCASION. it's even worse when we're in 2 different and SUPER FARAWAY jcs. and what's worse is that the people that i care/love the most and trust the most are so faraway and it's soo hard just to meet up. sometimes it can feel frickkin lonely in jc. they say it's like a second home.....bull. people are said to be more matured in jc but seriously that's bull too. not only do i have to deal with my f-ed up life but i've got to mask it all and provide a shoulder to lean on for my frens. and already within their class is a mixture of under-the-surface bitching and overly-sensitive ppl who werent that sensitive before but weirdly enough had their hormones rearranged after 1st 3 months. wtsh. ppl keep on asking me "why so glum?" or "why so serious?"and stupidly "is everything okay?" i mean like if i'm not my usual self then OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT OKAY. esp when i'm in the water more than on the water, it's kindda obvious why i'm not smiling. do i look like some piece of plastic toy that has a perpectual manical smile JUST to entertain you? get a grip. and i cant do standard. your expect so much. if i'm not strong enough then what do you want me to do bout it?! making us REdo WONT HELP. i'm already cutting down on my going-out days to please you....no matter how much I HATE IT. but i'm sick and tired of coming home and listenin to you nag bout how many days a week i have to study. and when i tell you that i'm studying in school you scoff. wtsh. thanks ah. and when i wanna spend some time with you(which includes me asking you whether you've gone shopping recently) you start ALL OVER AGAIN bout how many days i'm left in a week to study.and charles dickens. what the hell is with you?! just cut down to the bloody point when writing la. do you think that adding OVER discriptive language with earn you respect? if you knew how many students REALLY felt bout you..... and mr gay. you suck. cant you teach better?obviously not huh. and lit teachers. if you know, great ex cant be read in a week. neither HMT. and you... you shitting assholic specimen of a shithole. think you can come mess up my ALREADY shitty life and toy with me then drop me JUST LIKE THAT and mess it up EVEN MORE?! you are such a bastard. and then go blog bout how sucky life is to you. whatever, you deserved what you got. go on, go complain that no one understands you, you've got OTHER frens DONT YOU. GO AND MIX WITH THEM LA. just dont come back and expect ppl to entertain you when the other group of frens piss you off. i just wished i didnt feel so hopeful bout you. and i've got to go round with a smile on my face, if not ppl start asking me dumb questions. let's see how long you decide to play with this one this time.i need more ppl to msg...better still if they'll msg me BACK. now i understand how those ppl who scribble "i wanna run away from life" on school tables feel...honestly, just taking off to another country feels like a damn good idea right now.anyone feeling insulted at this point of time? well shit you cos you decided to read it.
scribbled down in typed letters11:30 PM
