school is really your second home because when shit happens at home or anywhere else, the school is the best santuary. for now i'm thankful for tml's 5-6.30 extra gp lecture and i'm thankful for council meeting and gp tuition on wed until 9 and i'm thankful for thursday when i go for math and take that 30min walk home alone. it may sound angsty but when all you receive is a cold glare and all the piled up tension between them is vented on you at home, you just want to have every excuse to stay far far away. it really sucks being the youngest. no doubt you get doted on superficially by most of the family but whatever the parents failed to educate or instill in the other siblings, you are automatically made the dumping ground. i do agree that sometimes these values are indeed good and for the best of my interest for my character building process but sometimes being used and having others living vicariously through you makes you feel empty.
decided to watch the honey mtv of "i believe" in my bid to be hopeful and not think of all the unintentional unhappiness i caused everyone. since i screw up my life so much(and others, come to think of it) i see why now you guys try your utmost to control it.
scribbled down in typed letters11:32 PM
this evening was very entertaining.
let's just put it into an equation. (because we all just ADORE math)
suwen+slipper+running+bus=FARNIE. (the peiyee way)
scribbled down in typed letters10:50 PM
fine, my head is drooped and my tail between my hind legs(if it makes a difference). it was all a misunderstanding, yes, but i still cant treat her as benignly as before. then again, i also said all those things in my previous entry that kindda got thrown out of the window after today. *sheepish look* -side thought- sheep must really be pissed off to be associated with being "sheepish". i wonder how the originator made the comparison. hmmm -side thought-
was looking through some pictures of pre-u sem and videos especially and i'm feeling sad. i miss pre-u sem and all my frens. :( i really doubt that we'll ever be able to go out as a whole group in the future. that's damn sad la. urg....
noticed something beautiful today. shared it with someone. it's a beautiful feeling.
scribbled down in typed letters11:25 PM
honestly, you fked up attitude is REALLY PISSING ME OFF. FINE, you wanna stick to some girl who treats you like shit? FINE. you dont want to feel appreciated? FINE. you wanna be talked down and humiliated in public? FINE. you dont want someone to care about you? FINE. just dont vent it out on me. dont try and reverse this treatment on me. dont expect me to take this shit as easy as you do from her. i'm seriously done trying to show you she treats you like shit, i'm done concerning over you, i'm done waiting for you to show that you appreciate me. i'm done reading that 4 page sms. go screw yourself. crap la, donnoe how i'm gonna face you calmly without the temptation to sock you in the face or just yell at you. and to think that you were...arh NEVER MIND...not like i should plague my mind with what i thought you to be.
Why should i care.
P.S. it aint a question.
scribbled down in typed letters12:29 AM
i'm doing it again.
Was there something more I could have done?
Or was I not meant to be the one?
Where's the life I thought we would share?
And should I care?
Should I leave you alone here in the dark?
Holding my broken heart
While a promise still hangs in the air
Why should I care?
scribbled down in typed letters11:10 PM
i'm FINALLY BLOGGIN!!!! only because i'm using wey jiang's lappy in the council room. econs SA just ended and it's fked up la. i pia-ed the whole of yday for nothing sia, tamade. now lying on the council sofa in a very unglam way...hope i dont zao geng. but then again, only gege/didi is in the room. but really, i TOTALLY blanked during econs la. after this i honestly dont wanna go through it again. tamade. later still got to take back chinese As result. whatever. ruiping and mark chan just came in so i also just got up and became more "shu nu". wth la. just now do the prom thing until damn gong diao.
scribbled down in typed letters1:00 PM
I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream.
scribbled down in typed letters2:16 AM
