i back.... so tired...today had effective learning during the last 2 periods... so xianzzz was smsing most of the time....got really sad and emotional for NO REASON what-so-ever anyway i went home myself.... met with some RP boys at the bus stop.....decided to take a cab instead since it was like so UBER hot.....the boys wanted to tonpan but when i jokingly said that i would want 1 buck from them each,......they took me for real and were so reluctant to tonpan....haha anyway reached home.....lazed around....did very little then went for jap....haiz....MUST REALLY BUCK UP and like i was so tired!!!! my eyes were droopin down half of the time and i was trying to catch 40 winks!
gave anna's frens some advice on their lit project.....went to TM to look for a bear for myself......in vain...haiz WHY CAN'T ANYONE BUY ONE FOR ME?? anyway..... tml is labour day so there's no guides. no speech 'n' drama....haiz CAN'T MEET MY MELISSA!! *TEAR* HAHA BUT I'M GONNA MEET CHERYL at macs to do that frickkin' stupid art project........so sad.....i'm not goin out tml!!!! *wah* :'0 i really wanna go.....too bad that stupid min-yr is comin' ....shit haven't started revising!!!! ARG!!!

so i'm BLOGGIN OFF for now!!

i back.... so tired...today had effective learning during the last 2 periods... so xianzzz was smsing most of the time....got really sad and emotional for NO REASON what-so-ever anyway i went home myself.... met with some RP boys at the bus stop.....decided to take a cab instead since it was like so UBER hot.....the boys wanted to tonpan but when i jokingly said that i would want 1 buck from them each,......they took me for real and were so reluctant to tonpan....haha anyway reached home.....lazed around....did very little then went for jap....haiz....MUST REALLY BUCK UP and like i was so tired!!!! my eyes were droopin down half of the time and i was trying to catch 40 winks!
gave anna's frens some advice on their lit project.....went to TM to look for a bear for myself......in vain...haiz WHY CAN'T ANYONE BUY ONE FOR ME?? anyway..... tml is labour day so there's no guides. no speech 'n' drama....haiz CAN'T MEET MY MELISSA!! *TEAR* HAHA BUT I'M GONNA MEET CHERYL at macs to do that frickkin' stupid art project........so sad.....i'm not goin out tml!!!! *wah* :'0 i really wanna go.....too bad that stupid min-yr is comin' ....shit haven't started revising!!!! ARG!!!

today was the sec 1 enroment day....*yawn*

During math lesson...i was thinking of what chen cheng said..." you never say hello when we meet, you treat me like air" and i'm thinkin to myself "WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE?!" "YOU ALREADY HAVE A STEAD!!" so i smsed him that it was bcos he treated me like air and i was just reciprocrating. i donnoe why i was just so emotional and started to cry AGAIN. can't stand myself...i hate it....i ALWAYS have to cry.....i mean why can't i be more strong-willed and not look so pathetic? like why can't i be violent when i'm upset?? why muz i always cry and look like i need support?? BTW IT WAS ANGRY TEARS NOT CROCODILE TEARS! but i just can't believe that i was led astray by that STUPID MSG!! can't believe myself.

S3C 1 EnRoMeNt
it was the usual la.... we changed into our guides full-u and went down to 7-11 to eat the packed-lunches....(i better stop eating those kind of food....it's VERY fattening and i should stop since i'm already that fat).......*sigh* we had to go and form a horse-shoe formation. and it was scorching hot! luckily we chose the place under the shaded tree...*yeah*...haha but still it was VERY hot and BORING! but luckily yvonne had some gum with her and we(alicia and i) shared the piece of chewing gum....kept us busy...haha but it was still very hot and i could feel the droplets of sweat forming on my nose and it was drippin down my front and back......*SO UNCOMFORTABLE!* AND today was the best record of ppl who felt faint! 3 1st was ivie:she couldn't see but it WAS VERY HOT! the second one was a guide from my petrol and the last one was the most dramatic one.....a sec 1 guide jus fell onto the ground and looked really weak and giddy.... she just PLOPPED onto the ground... but personally speaking....IT WAS NOTHING just that my legs were VERY painful.... if the sec 1s feel this is long.....let them experience POP! then they will know! haha......bloggin off now!!

NOTHING TO DO!!! I ALSO DONT WANNA STUDY!!! haha tml enroment test.... haiz muz wear full-u and muz stand under hot sun.....*SO SICKENING!* pop comin' soon..... really not lookin' forward to it....and i'll deffinitly miss the mdms.....esp jia min.....she's UBER funny and good!!! she very nice to all of us but when we do something wrong, she would scold us.......*sigh* but most of the guides will deff. miss her..... she so nie.....so good ......hian too bad we muz all say good bye..... hope the new mdms won't be too sadistic or too slacky(she wouldn't la right) anyway still donnoe what to perform for the mdms.... and it's gonna be in front of the scouts!!!! i didn't mind bout it too much last yr cos didn't really know them too much ....so.....also donnoe la..... but we have to perform in front of JADED and YT.....haiz so irritating.....so pai seh *sigh* hope i won't make a total fool outta myself.... it'll be SO embarrassing!!!

haiz...mid-year is comin' *blech* anyway juz stopped by ice lemon tee on sat after guides and grabbed a few things. got myself a holy, pink pencil box!!!! *yeah* haha got some fluffy rubber-bands a leather string.....hope i dont burn it up like the last time........stank up the whole place...haha anyway shi ning is still being scrtinised on her tag.... *sigh* poor gal.... did nothing and still have to bare with all those asses...... but i have only one thing to say...."SHIT HAPPENS" haha

yesterday, yue wanted us to have a meeting at the confrence rm...elder teo wanted to apologise to us.....guess we juz have to accept it....though i really don want to. THE YUE asked us what learnin' points we learnt.....so i said that "we muz not be implusive or else ppl would blow up the situation and we would be hated more." and at the end, he asked us whether there was any points to come up with.......i brought up the lack of security in our school problem and the yue was quite hesitant to answer......haiz.....our school is really lackin in the basic school security measures and like who cares if we have CT cameras?? the Columbine incident also had CT cameras but that incident STILL happened!!! *sigh* our school.....*haiz* don't know la.

today stephanie from CR came for guides...quite weird...coz i was so use to seeing all the usual ppl.... then suddenly one stephnie appears.... haha but i guess it's a positive outcome cos we would have a stronger FORCE!!!! HAHA *being quite lame* anyway xin yin from EP joined as well...

AFTER PT

Jia min told carmen and i to teach xin yin the basic.... quite frustrating cos we were doin it all over again and like she was quite confused with the commands and directions... later, stephanie, alicia and ivie came and all of us taught xin yin and stephanie. Later we were totally, se-ri-ous-ly sian so asked jia min if we could join the drilling..... by the time we reached there, the mdm told all of us to go back to th concourse to fall-in!!!! ARG all of us wanted to drill then juz walk a bit then must go back.... *haiz* when teaching them to drill....we played jinx with ivie... when she was jinxed... SHE GAVE US ATTITUDE!!! TSK....TSK haha so much later... we taught the seniors how to play the "apples-on-a-stick" game. they found it cute..... haha even ask carmen to write the lyrics for them!! haha

AFTER GUIDES

carmen, JS and i went to 7-11 to eat lunch... tried the chicken bologinies(or something like that) and it was HMM..GOOD!!! HAHA then ivie, yvonne and yi hui came and they ate together with us..... and not long after, shermaine, wen hui and some other sec 3 guides also came and ate with us...... YOU'VE should have seen that sight!! the WHOLE, ENTIRE passage-way was blocked by guides.... the auntie very bu shuang already.... haha but later we all cleared off.... went home.... so tired... blog again..... BUAI!!!

My whole life is a big, dark void. My heart is a big, dark void. My whole world is a big, dark void. Nothing is worth doing anymore. Although i know that in a few days time i'll be okay. i really feel bad. the only guy whom i confessed my feelings to has rejected me. He has a gal himself... but c'mon...i didn't know! anyway, yesterday i was so sad. and as i was standing beside Geok Joo, i could feel her own saddness "Radiating" from her. in time, i started to feel depressed and started to tear....from then on.....i started to cry. Tear drops full of hatred, sadness, regret and most of all, love. those tears was forming at the brim of my eyes and it started to go "drip...drop" "pitter...patter" down my mundane face. I felt so crappy and feeling so bad that i just wanted to hide from the world. Get away from it all. I just couldn't stand it. i wanted to DIE. Senarioes of myself jumping from the 3rd floor flashed through my mind as i ran to the toilet to seek santuary. As i ran through the corridor, pass the numerous classrooms and pass the parapette wall, i thought of jumping onto one of them and just falling into sweet nothingness. Banging my fist against the tiled-toilet wall, i just wanted to forget about him. ..about that ass...that jerk... that fateful night when i first got to know him. i tried telling myself that he was not worth it but i just couldn't help but feeling blue. the thought of unknown sweet sensation was quite tempting as i looked out into the azure, blue sky. i just wanted to fall into the sky and NEVER RETURN. away from this void, away from all these pain and suffering.My heart had been crushed into a million pieces by the evil hand of love. It can NEVER be placed together again. it's just not fair that that jerk must do this kind of thing. Everyone else looks so happy. i just don't know how those facing BGR problems can look so calm and have a "blank" reaction to almost everything. therefore no one can comfort me. the fact is, i have no close/best friend. Reason is becos i DON'T HAVE ANY. my life is such a sad, depressed one. My heart is a void... there's nothing left inside it, no happiness, no love, no yearning anymore......

NOTHING'S LEFT

well....i juz can't get the all-so-wonderful-totally-lovely-heavenly-seriously-cool music and song on my other blog!! ARG!!! but of course the music is none other then the all-so-wonderful-loverly-cute-totally-hot-and-too-hunkalicious GARETH GATES!!! OUCH!!*SPICY!* HAHA it's gettin HOT in here!! haha but anyway i juz can't get it on here..... but what the heck.... to me HE'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE AND TO ME, HE IS DU YI WU ER! HAA! yup blog again another day!!!! buai!
~gareth gates rocks!~

*blech* feel so sick....just came back from jap lessons... *sigh* don think i really did that good a job today...could see that sensei was not very pleased... but i'm sick!!! and i'm still sticing up for shi ning... *i'm such a good fren* haha (tear)... jk....jk.... but i really think that those ppl are really goin too far... anyway juz now i want by train....saw roy at the tanah merah station..... *so shuai!* haha (AS IF MAN) haha (SOORY ROY!!! AND PEI TING!!! HAHA) anyway if my aunt not there with me... i would have gone and talk to her... HIM I MEAN!! (SORRY AGAIN) haha anyway he smile so "gan ga" until very cute...very funny manz...haha...anyway i didn't go for the WITS meeting coz i had to go for the japanese lesson and i didn't go for the section meeting coz i was sick and i had to go for the japanese tuition.... but very sad cannot go with the seniors...cos like goin to miss them very soon when they passin on....(tear)..... now headache very painful....blog another time....

yOZ....well have not a lot to say... juz that i've started on ong again... and that i feel different now compared to last time in p6 i mean. i remember that i used to be SO paranoid if i had to sit either next or opposite him... HAHA maybe now i'm more matured in a sense that i don't let all these things bother me. Also maybe becos i in a mix school and also have male teachers... and more-over it is nearly 1 and 1/4 years in a mix school. anyway, i have not seen a lot of the ppl that used to go to ong's place last time. like rowena, briyan, mark, emma... so many others!! but at least breandon is still there... i mean all the new girls are like SO UBER nerdy and SO FRICKKIN' quiet.. and they dont like me for some reason ... donnoe why... mayb bcos i sms ??? but i mean like who doesn't and one of them even sushed me!!! and like gave me that kind of "bu shuang yian" and like "BITCH!" like what the hell is wrong with you?? ppl smsin your problem is it?? STUPID manz... haiz

anyway today was the sec 2's cheering "tuition" we stayed back yesterday for the sec 1s...

sec 1s cheering "tuition" session
so we had to go up to their class and teach them. those teaching 1 EP was sze yan, zhi lu, tiffany, the china ccl, christophor and a few others and i. so anyway... when i was trying to tell the class some stuff, tiffany kept shushin me FOR NO REASON WHAT-SO-EVER... and like hello?? i'm tryin to tell the class something about the cheers and she like shushed me like so may times... haiz donnoe la and the sec1s really suck at cheering... they sound like crap TOTALLY!!!

sec 2s cheering "tuition"
we had to stay back AGAIN but we did it in the audi and suckily, my section had to take care of 2EP. Sherly or which-ever was in that class. the guide who called me a "bitch" during ball games. Anyway we were trying to tell the class which cheer to say and that it was totally hard to communicate cos there was like 12 classes trying to cheer at the same time and the ccls were like trying their best to teach the sec 2s and don forget some of them had lost their voice the day before cos we had to shout and cheer with the sec1s... so anyway EP were totally crap *i apologise to the ccls and ppl of 2 EP* BUT really the other group were totally soft.... even thought there was a SUPER. DUPER good group that was totally "enthu". but sherly gave such a bu shuang look on her face all the time and was whispering to her other fren and they were like totally BITCHIN' all the way...for what reason i also donnnoe... i mean like we ccls have a worst job!!! she can go home at 4 but we ccl have to stay back later and more-over we have to know the lines by heart!!!! Feel like slappin the qian bian face of hers SO MUCH!!! SUCKY WOMAN!!! ASS man............. really cant stand her AT ALL!!!!! ARG!! i really wanna get violent now... *sigh* better forget about NEGATIVE, SUCKY, STUPID AND BO LIAO ppl who have nothing to do with my life.... haiz just FORGET ABOUT HER....