i'm back again!!1 it's the middle of my mids and I DONNOE WHY I'M ONLINE!!!! okay so econs was a partial screw-up... heh. anyway while being tortured by revising econs yday, i picked up my phone and msg-ed harold lim. yes. i found myself doin all those childish things i did last year. he's FINALLY with that parkway girl and i think it's soooooo SWEEEEEET LA. even though wen says that i wouldnt have said that one year ago, well i'm saying it now. :)oh ya. and somehow i wanna be ____________! i cant stand it la. it's ALMOST infurating. wait ALMOST?! whatever. what's wrong with me?!?!?!!! hha i'm getting dramatic. SO?! heeeeee.... this is a split personality conversation la. craps. looking at your picture, i regret not knowing you sooner.
scribbled down in typed letters11:09 PM
wen is back and we can finally start planning our "night of liberation"!! or "one night liberty"? anyway mr chua told the T1 girls to get mentally prepared because OUR EVENTS ARE OUT!!! and i'm in the 1000m T1 race la!!! BOOHOOO... right this is gonna be a very rushed and short post because i've got to change after this to go out for fathers' day celebration. thurs: went for rachel's bday celebration and i guess i went a BIT too crazy because i kindda scared jessie (or so she says) and someone commented how i would be with alcohol...hmmm.. ohwells! but...i REALLY want to justify myself and do some self discovery while i type but i've gotta go!!!WHEN ARE YOU BACK?!
scribbled down in typed letters6:17 PM
raaah!!!! training was a bitch. as it's becoming to be. but THANK GOODNESS for the rain. we were doing our TEN FRICKKING sets of bursting and it was only 5/10 and i was getting weaker and weaker by the strokes(physically and mentally). so shu jie was telling me how i should just focus and i was tearing already then as i turned the boat i suddenly remembered that i havent hugged my mother for a long time and i just started to cry more. in between sobs and tears, i cried out loud "WO YAO HUI JIA!!!". and wonderfully, a roar of thunder and a siren that signalled a lightning warning... and those blessed words "come back NOW!!" paddling back to the slipway, my strokes were never that good or powerful. then we all rushed to the shelter and later i realised how dumb i was crowding with the REST of the team PLUS SA N VJ, so i went to the "hut"/"shelves" to join nash. jiewei and xuekai later joined us. we were the 4 smart ppl..the other "hut" was also full of ppl la. looking at your side of the boats, i felt sad and lonely. came back and read his blog then her blog. FELT even lonelier. i really regret not meeting him sooner. pray for me to get better at a T1. :(DEAR!!! I MISSSS YOU!!!
scribbled down in typed letters4:08 PM
had a very emotional training session today becos i was told to take up T1 for nationals. blech then my whole face turned black... according to jessie. heh. but what do you expect??? then after that we were made to run 4.3km.... >0<>
went to tm to eat the HK cafe food with jessie and eunice. haha we are BORED AND TIRED of hawker food la SOO JIA QING.... grrr and only now do i fully appreciate the invention of baked rice. checked my phone and dear wen msg-ed me bout some reverse calling thing. in the end i tried 3G video call and i'm sure that i bust my bill already but wen's gonna share so YAY!!! haha.... damnit la..... i MISS HER SOOOO MUCHH la!! thank goodness she's only away like for 10 days. after that we'll go crazy at the hotel!!! haah but so sad only 1 night. BOOHOO. oh wells.
i dont know how long i can keep this up, it's so mentally and physically challenging and i lack both.
but one phrase/ one word can brighten my day.... but you're still so faraway...
scribbled down in typed letters3:39 PM
I MISSSS YOUUUUU!!!!! it feels sooo different without msging you la.. without the nightly calls to biatch, to cry, to emo or just to crap....(sometimes literally??) haah but unfortunately, my dear has flown off to swizerland and i'm here, 6 hours away in Singapore.
i'm emo-ing because i miss my dear and keep worrying bout another certain someone. missing that person too....i wanna sail to the end of the world with you... but why cant you ask me that question instead... =( i don't mind even if it's from the comforts of a movie seat..... <3 *HINTS*
from the time difference, i'm guessing you're either awake already and eating your breakfast or... hmm ALREADY UP SINCE ____? XD you weirdo. but i still like ya!
AND WENNN ISNT HERE!!!! i wished i had sent her off.. blech.. end up going on some weird blind date with someone who is equally as uninterested as i am. BOO HOO. life is as such i guess... i shall quote that from my dear.
i dont wanna be into deep... but i've capsized and you took my lifejacket away.
scribbled down in typed letters8:26 PM
:( = what i'm feeling now.i'm :( because you're not here.i'm :( because you didnt ask me to send you off.i'm :( because there's nothing really going on but i'm thinking too much.i'm :( because i'm listening to ai mei.i'm :( because i'm feeling left out and left behing.i'm :( because i'm always the last to find out.i'm :( because you didnt ask me.i'm :( because i still wouldn't have been able to make it even if you asked me.i'm :( because eveyone's seem to be going smoothly.i'm :( because there's nothing going on for me.i'm :( because my friends get to rave bout theirs.i'm :( because i only dream of raving when i cant.i'm :( because i dont feel like i belong.i'm :( because i try to handle everyone but it doesnt seem to be working. all of us are even more detached now.i'm :( because i dont feel part of the class.i'm :( because there's so many groups of frens to juggle but somehow i just dont feel as attached/welcomed anymore.i'm :( because those 5 days are over.i'm :( because i wont be meeting all of you on 15th june.i'm :( because i miss you guys.i'm :( because i know that i wont be able to see you... not even on 15th june.i'm :( because this whole post just reminded me why my life isnt as wonderful as it was.i'm :( because i've become very :( since i started real jc life.i'm :( because i'm :( i'm :( because there's no one to truly share this feeling THAT WAY. basically... i'm a :( person.
scribbled down in typed letters11:19 PM
wyntrice is now going through a bridget jones moment. she doesnt know whether to laugh it off or start to envision her life as a spinster. that was a very sad statement i just realised. hmm. there's a lack of something. went to cchms to FINALLY get my O lvl cert. obviously went with wen. at parkway MOS, i saw that corner. i can still rmb, we just came from ECP and walking in the crowd i spotted something i was hoping to see... then it followed by a HUGE disappointment when i saw who was beside. yea. a thing of my past. but i told wen that i fear there's gonna be such incidents that would happen to me in future. i find that it's so sad that i'm so pessimisstic but from what i've gone through, it doesnt seem impossible to happen again. scrolling through the pictures, i just wonder how it really feels. to know that there's something going on and somehow you think that it kindda is on it's way and it's going to work out and it is because he's obviously into you. spanglish made me wonder how it would feel for one's head to evaporate just by being near that special someone. it's been a while.
i'm trying to tell myself that MR. eggyokes and flowers are telling me to stay afloat and not be in too deep(HA! we've all heard THAT one before!) if I was to give in - give it up- and then take a breath - make it deepcause it might be the last one you getbe the last one that could make us coldyou know that they could make us coldI'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
scribbled down in typed letters12:10 AM
hello ppl!! i'm not emo over my dear sg6 anymore because i know that they'll forever be in my heart and that i'll have the memories to cherish and keep...right. AND I ALSO JUST MET UP WITH SOME OF THEM!! hahahright... PA just ended and alex chua and coach gave us a talk just now. and i'm sure they have LOTS prepared for us. but now...since THE DISTRACTION is away, i'm gonna practise REEAL hard for my K1. and somehow, afi made me want to train extra hard and those few words which are so simple somehow impacted me. "train hard ya". it wasnt a question, it was a statement and of course, the finger thing. haha... somehow i'm DAMN PISSED that she couldnt DSA into tpj canoeing. afi my motivator!!!!oh ya... i almost got emo today.. AGAIN..haha HE RUSHED DOWN LEH... wth.. i also want.... keeee... anyways, i dont wanna dwell on it too much and i doubt my sunburnt skin would let me. it's frickking painful la... AND MY LIPS GOT BURNT AS WELL... imagine the pain i felt when i was brushing my teeth and colgate formed on my lips. OUCH. now there's a slight deep purple outline on the inner side of my lower lip. BOOHOO but yay!!! getting our jerseys NEXT WEEK!!! yay!!! haha i'm not trying to sound like you-know-who (hha only wyntrice knows who is you-know-who!!!)okay ... tml i'm gonna be collecting my o lvl cert!! (ya finally right?? i know) heeee. right... i hope king of the bongo will be there... as well as slackzeed.... haha AND JAPAN DELIGHTS!!!!WHEEEEE...P.S. have a safe flight and cruise!!! bu yao wang ji wo!!
scribbled down in typed letters1:01 AM
