felt depressed yday. cried yday.hurt myself yday.got hurt yday.~durin drama~ i bought HIM a prezzie. [mini toon's soap] was standin in front of them while waitin for our turn. That was how we stood. anyway HE was suppose to switch places with frenB fren(A)/ HIM/ fren(B). I (in front of Fren(B))
but frm the corner of me eye i saw that he said "er.... neva mind la" like he had 2nd thoughts bout standin just behind me..... i mean "excuse me!!!! do i have a plague??!! " anyway craped it by then.....didn't care anymore..... i juz wanted to run out of the rm... i didn't care if i was goin to stripped of my character or if i was goin to be scolded and embarrassed in front of the whole club.... as long as i culd get out of there i was happy.... UNFORTUNATELY, i culdn'tnow i feel so angry and frustrated... at HIM and at myself..... i'm such a despo... i mean, i wasted $3.90 on sum guy who i did not benefit anything frm... but i'm happy that i didn't spend anything more than that.....consulted ms cheong.... felt sad, started to tear........ went to cecilia, tony and aaron...... stopped cryin..... reached home.... felt sad...... at night, listenin to e soundtrack of cried, weeped, cornered myself and cried summore..... something tripped the electricity, no air-con or radio, pa solved it, music back on and cried more.... cried myself to slp..... i can't imagine what dragged us aprt.... last yr we were teasin each other and didn't feel weird round each other..... what happened now.... so much has changed..... you do even wanna be near me... why?IN JAP:a na ta to i re zadon na ro to de mono ri ki re ru yodat te anatawa kara ima watashi no tamashi wa totemo itaiiENGLISH TRANSLATION:for you i'll go thru any pain or torment just as long as i have you by my sidebut now, it is becos of you that my soul is hurt till the point of being shattered
scribbled down in typed letters12:13 AM
